don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
