Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
