Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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