Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
where are my eyebrows?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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