On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
