he puts the penis in happiness.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
