Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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