dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
