she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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