dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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