put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
