you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
