In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
