some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
