SEEEEXXX PLEASE
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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