yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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