he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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