What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
How does one acquire holy water?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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