The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
