So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
you told grandpa to call you daddy
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
