I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
