My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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