Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
