your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
