Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
