this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
