fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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