you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize