if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just gift wrapped bread.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
