went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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