You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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