Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The police scanner is talking about you again....
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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