Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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