proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
