either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
jump out the window naked night went bad
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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