i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
