I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
