I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
