i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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