The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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