You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
