If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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