do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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