In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
