Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
