If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize