so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
