He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
