belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
