All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
