jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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