So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
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