whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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