I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize