Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
