Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
