you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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