Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
