Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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