We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
