I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
