He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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