I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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