Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize